Jakotsu and InuYasha sitting in a tree
by Kitsune777
Summary: One night, under the new moon a perverse bourei decided to kidnap a defenceless young hanyou....
1. I like to eat apples and banana's

Yay!! Mah first InuYasha fan fiction to post on da internet!! Hehe... Oddly enough, it contains a couple of slightly obscure characters.... how many people DO know of the Shichinin-tai over here in America? oO; Certainly not too many, although the little fandom has been growing quite rapidly. :Shrug.: Ah, well, not worth thinking about.  
  
Anyway, this was based on a role play me and two friends did a little while ago. We have little.... parties, if you will, on the new moon to celebrate Inu's human-ness. We torture the fuck outta him .  
  
This was the result of one of those tortures.... I liked it, and fan fic-ized it. Muahaha. Inu had to be changed a lot, though, because Inu-mun wasn't participating enough. I think I'm content with the end result, though. The end result, being this fic of course. Its not that good, but read it anyway!!  
  
Not sure where in the Shichinin-tai arc this would fit in.. =/ hmmm... I'll think on that...  
  
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"I swear, you stupid homosexual bastard, if you don't let me go right now..."  
  
"Oh but what would be the fun in that? I'd just catch you again."  
  
"Would not."  
  
"But you're forgetting... you're human tonight, and you can't do anything. And now that I know that I can use that to my advantage." The zombie stated, sitting down cross-legged next to his captive, a very human Inu-Yasha.  
  
"Stop looking at me like that." Inu-Yasha glared at him out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"But you're so cute." The bourei smiled.  
  
Inu-Yasha growled. He was not much liking his situation. He had indeed been vulnerable today and, much to his misfortune, the group had been attacked by the Shichinin-tai. Well... Jakotsu, anyway. Kagome and the others were fine, but Jakotsu made them all back off, and it was then that the sadist decided to kidnap Inu-Yasha.  
  
Kagome had been very upset, and sent Miroku and a girl they had run into around the village who was tagging along to go after Inu-Yasha. Her, Sango, and Shippou stayed behind and treated the wounds of people who had been attacked by the other Shichinin-tai members.  
  
Inu-Yasha, not knowing there was a search party coming for him, sat helplessly.  
  
After a long silence, Jakotsu started to get bored. He realized Inu-Yasha was no longer struggling against his ropes. "So, you're not going to do anything?"  
  
"I can't. I'm friggin human."  
  
Jakotsu frowned. It wouldn't be any fun if Inu-Yasha was just going to let this happen. The fight and Inu-Yasha's struggle had gotten him pretty excited, but now that Inu-Yasha seemed to be giving up...  
  
Jakotsu crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Inu-Yasha curiously, "You won't resist no matter what I do to you?"  
  
"What the hell am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Resist..." He got into crawling position and began advancing on Inu-Yasha, "Kick... yell..." In his attempt to be seductive, he only scared the poor hanyou. Inu-Yasha began trying to hop away from Jakotsu, a rather afraid look on his face.  
  
"Something like that." The drag-queen smiled, happily.  
  
Inuyasha stopped and sighed. "Just do whatever with me, and make it quick."  
  
"But don't you want your death to be long, drawn out..." He moved to Inu-Yasha and sat in his lap, facing him, one leg on either side on Inu-Yasha's torso, meaning if Inu-Yasha looked down he probably would have seen more of Jakotsu then he wanted to. "You know... exciting?"  
  
Inu-Yasha shuddered.  
  
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"Miroku, hurry up!"  
  
"Rei-san, I'm not a neko-hanyou. I can't move as fast as you. And besides, what's your rush to get to Inu-Yasha?" The monk questioned, suggestively. "You seemed pretty reluctant to go get him, before."  
  
"Listen, houshi, I just wanna get this over with." She said stopping. "And besides, I want to see what this Jakotsu character does to him. Sounds pretty bad for doggy-boy."  
  
"It is." Miroku shuddered, thinking about what Inu-Yasha was in for if they didn't come to his rescue quickly.  
  
"Well, come on, I wanna see!" She grabbed his arm and began pulling him at a quick pace through the forest, following Inu-Yasha's scent.  
  
"Wait, what if this is an ambush? The Shichinin-tai would try something like that!"  
  
Rei stopped. "Miroku, do I look like I really care?"  
  
"No... but I hope you do?"  
  
"I don't." She tugged at his arm and made him follow.  
  
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Inu-Yasha was wiggling under Jakotsu. Despite having immoble arms and his situation seeming hopeless, he was still trying to get him off. Jakotsu just giggled.  
  
"You're so cute... I'm going to have to stop myself from killing you right now."  
  
"Get offa me you jerk!" Inu-Yasha yelled. Jakotsu just wrapped his arms around his neck.  
  
"You can't do anything to me since you don't have that pretty sword of yours..."  
  
"LET ME GO!" Inu-Yasha attempted to bite Jakotsu, forgetting he was human, and didn't have fangs. The bite seemed more playful then harmful. Jakotsu squealed.  
  
"I had no idea you were interested." He licked Inu-Yasha's neck, seemingly as a way to return the favor. Inu-Yasha growled once again.  
  
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"Gah!" Miroku yelped as he was pulled behind a bush. Rei shushed him. "What was that for?" He whispered. Rei pointed over the bush. Miroku looked over the top of the bush to see Jakotsu kissing down Inu-Yasha's neck. "Rei-san, shouldn't we go do something?"  
  
"Not... yet."  
  
Miroku sat and sighed. He peered over the bush and watched. "I suppose it is interesting... I've never watched a couple of benders go at it."  
  
"Yeah." She nodded and continued to watch Inu-Yasha struggle.  
  
Yeah. That was fuuun.... Rei isn't a very......  
  
....  
  
... :makes sure Rei-mun isn't around.:  
  
...  
  
good (at all) OC... but she works.... her presence in this RP added quite a bit of humor.  
  
Well, Er... now's where I ask you to review? 


	2. MMMMMMIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKK!

Yay!! More OOC Jakotsu-ness!! Hehe... .  
  
Just figured I'd mention it... in the RP, I was Miroku and Jakotsu. Inu was Hikari-kon (--pen name) and Rei was our other friend, who, sadly (only not really) doesn't have a fan ficition account. Poo.  
  
And because I forgot to post this in the last chapter.... I do not own InuYasha, or it's characters, and if I WAS making a friggin profit off of this do you think I'd be posting it on HERE!?  
  
-.-  
  
On with the fic?  
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"GET OFF OF ME! I swear on my mothers grave... I'll rip you a new asshole if you don't..." Inu-Yasha paused, trying to hide a moan. Jakotsu wasn't about to stop playing with his new toy.  
  
"You don't want me to stop. I can tell." He said between kisses down his neck.  
  
"You freak..."  
  
Jakotsu gave an annoyed huff. "You want me off you?" Inu-Yasha paused, and nodded angrily.  
  
"Fine." Jakotsu stood, and went behind Inu-Yasha, out of his view for a moment. "I'm perfectly happy with this position." He draped his arms around Inu-Yasha's torso and began tugging at his shirt.  
  
"Ah!" Inu-Yasha was surprised by this and hit Jakotsu with his bound hands. Jakotsu was struck close to his lower abdomen, and fell onto his bum. Inu-Yasha took this opportunity to begin rolling away.  
  
"I'm supposed to be the sadist, Inu-chan. Don't try and hit me!" Jakotsu stood and walked after the rolling hanyou.  
  
"Kuso... kuso... kuso!" Inu-Yasha muttered as he realized any attempt to escape was futile. Jakotsu once again sat on him, straddling him. Jakotsu tsked him.  
  
"Bad puppy. No leaving your master."  
  
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Meanwhile, the neko and monk watched, amused. Miroku probably more so then Rei. In the midst of all the 'action' between Inu-Yasha and Jakotsu, Miroku's hand wandered closer and closer to a certain part of Rei's body...  
  
(pat pat)  
  
"MIROKU YOU JERK!" Rei yelled jumping out of the bushes and whacking Miroku over the head with her staff. She then looked the the direction of Inu-Yasha and Jakotsu who had gone totally silent and were now staring towards the bushes.  
  
"Heh... heh..." She put her hand on Miroku's head in attempt to keep him hidden. Jakotsu and Inu-Yasha could faintly hear 'Sorry, possessed hands.' Both hanyou's rolled their eyes.  
  
Jakotsu continued looking curiously at the bushes. "Um, dear, might I ask what you were doing back there?"  
  
"Uh, just... um... here with... Umm..." She looked down at Miroku and quickly realized how obvious it must have been if she was holding something down and moved her hands behind her back, innocently.  
  
"With who." He scowled.  
  
"Myself!"  
  
"I swear if you're lying..."  
  
"I'm not!" As if to prove it, she moved through the bushes into the clearing. She looked down at Inu-Yasha who mouthed something similar to 'Help me' "So who's that you got there? He's pretty cute."  
  
"My mate. And if you'll excuse us-"  
  
"He doesn't look to thrilled to be here and... is he tied up?!"  
  
Jakotsu smiled angrily, "He's playing hard to get."  
  
"Neh..."  
  
The two looked down at Inu-Yasha, who was still struggling under Jakotsu. "You should let him up. It's not nice to hold someone against their will."  
  
"It's called S&M hussy, now get lost!"  
  
"I know what it's called!" She snapped. "You should just give him a chance to resist, Jakotsu. Stupid half-wit..."  
  
"How did you know my name?"  
  
"Uh... Heheh..." She stuttered backing up into the bushes again. "I just...do!" She managed before tripping and plummeting to the ground "Oof!"  
  
Jakotsu stood and dragged Inu-Yasha over to the bushes with him. He peered over the hedge to see Rei lying on top of Miroku in a rather suggestive position. "Yare, yare. What do we have here?"  
  
"Some rescue party..." Inu-Yasha mumbled.  
  
"Hmph. Well, Miroku. Cat.... thing. If you'll excuse me, me and Inu-Yasha have some business to attend to. If you want to join us, Miroku, you're welcome to."  
  
"I'll pass on that offer." Miroku didn't look at Jakotsu as he responded. He was preoccupied with Rei. Jakotsu threw Inu-Yasha to the ground and sat astride his hips.  
  
"Now, where were we?" Inu-Yasha just rolled his eyes. They were then, interrupted once again, by a shriek and a loud thwap.  
  
"Dumb monk..." They looked over to see Rei walking out of the bushes, and Miroku getting to his feet and stumbling out as well. Jakotsu looked very displeased.  
  
Rei pointed her staff at Jakotsu. "Okay, let the mutt go, because I don't want to have to deal with his dumb girlfriend!"  
  
"The fish?" Jakotsu asked stupidly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"SHE'S NOT A FISH!" Miroku and Inu-Yasha yelled in unison.  
  
"Well she can't have him!" Jakotsu whined, hugging Inu-Yasha, who looked disgusted. Rei smacked Jakotsu on the back of the head, with her staff. "OW! What's your problem, wench!?"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
Jakotsu stood up, but knew Inuyasha would try to roll away, so put a foot on his stomach. A certain area on Jakotsu was once again quite visible for Inu-Yasha, who twitched and then averted his gaze. Miroku chuckled, and Rei took a fighting stance. "So it's a fight you want, then?"  
  
"Sure." Rei grinned at the cross-dresser. After a moment, she realized Miroku wasn't doing anything to help. "Aren't you gonna fight with me, monk?"  
  
"I'd rather watch." Miroku smiled and started backing away from the group.  
  
"Smart houshi." Jakotsu smirked, drawing Jakotsutou.  
  
"Shit..." Rei mumbled. "Okay, just... get off him, and walk away. Because it's either you go, or I go. I'm picking you..."  
  
"Well, you'll have to fight me first."  
  
"Fine." Rei closed her eyes and appeared to be concentrating. The staff she was holding turned into what appeared to be a sword. "Let's go..."  
  
I'll have more soon!! ;  
  
Keep reviewing? 


	3. Cats and perverts and drag queens, oh my...

Yeah, I know it was a really, really long wait between chapters two and three, but I got lazy ; I decided that it was good enough... and soon I had about five review and was like, 'I shoooould post more...' and never really got around to it.... but I am posting now!! ;; haha... right.  
  
Read!!! oO;  
  
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"Jakotsu, leave them alone." Jakotsu looked down at Inu-Yasha, who he noticed had begun to growl. "They're not the ones you want to kill."  
  
"But Inu-chan..." Jakotsu whined.  
  
"Rei, Miroku, get out of here!" Inu-Yasha barked, harshly.  
  
"Ehh, sorry, hun." Rei shrugged. "We can't leave you. We gotta get ya back to your woman. Even if it means chopping this transvestite in half." She motioned towards Jakotsu. Inu-Yasha had to hide a snicker, and Jakotsu looked rather upset. Raising Jakotsutou, and looking at her threateningly, he stomped his foot into Inu-Yasha's stomach to distract them.  
  
"Oof! Hey! What was that for?!"  
  
Rei looked at Inu-Yasha, but Miroku caught on. Jakotsu flung Jakotsutou straight at her, but Miroku dove and managed to push her down to the ground.  
  
"What the hell, monk!"  
  
"I'm sorry for being concerned. I didn't really feel like having to bury another person today." He replied, his voice laced with sarcasm.  
  
She only had enough time to growl and open her mouth before he grabbed her again, and rolled out of the way of Jakotsu's flexible sword.  
  
"Stop wasting my time and die!" He retracted the sword, and then paused. "Wait... if this is a fight then someone needs to lose their shirt."  
  
He only got confused looks from Miroku and Rei. Inu-Yasha whined.  
  
"Well, I'm not losing mine and I don't think anyone has a problem with me keeping it on!" Rei said nervously, trying to close her shirt more. Miroku opened his mouth to protest and promptly received a slap.  
  
"I was thinking more along the lines of a man, neko-wench." Jakotsu looked down at Inu-Yasha, who was still trying desperately not to look up. "How about you, puppy?" Jakotsu grinned when Inu-Yasha yelped and began struggling against his ropes again.  
  
Chuckling, Jakotsu lifted his leg off of Inu-Yasha and slipped the end of his sword under his kariginu and in a few swift motions cut his top off, so it was only attached by the sleeves. Inu-Yasha whined and looked down at his chest which now also had three small cuts on it.  
  
"Oh, Puppy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you bleed." He smiled, his voice sounding mock-sympathetic.  
  
"You're sick." Rei snarled, adjusting her grip on her sword.  
  
"Oh, you should see what I'm planning to do to you, sweetheart."  
  
Rei gulped. 'I don't want to get blood on me...' she thought. "Are you ready?"  
  
"Been ready this whole time, wench." Jakotsu drew up his sword again.  
  
"Good." She suddenly grabbed Miroku, and kissed him on the cheek. "Ganbatte yo!" She threw him at Jakotsu.  
  
The bourei dropped his sword as Miroku landed in his arms. And he didn't look at all discouraged. "Hello there, houshi." He smiled.  
  
"Err..." Was all the monk could manage before Jakotsu dropped him onto Inu-Yasha.  
  
"What was-" Jakotsu looked up only to see that the cat had disappeared. He turned to see that Rei had helped Inu to his feet and had handed him her sword.  
  
"What the hell do I do with this?!" he asked confused.  
  
"Figure it out! It's a sword, half-wit!"  
  
"But it's..."  
  
"Nevermind!" Miroku yelled, pushing them both. "Just run!"  
  
"You think running will get you anywhere?" Jakotsu cackled, hurling Jakotsutou so that it curved around them blocking their path.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
"Now what, monk?!"  
  
"Haven't thought ahead this far..."  
  
Rei rolled her eyes and shoved Inu-Yasha towards Jakotsu, who was sauntering over, slowly letting the sword retract at the same time.  
  
"It's all you, Pup!"  
  
======  
  
See, now wasn't that worth the wait??  
  
.....  
  
Fine. Review anyway? -;; 


	4. leaves title blank::

Yeah..... short chapter....  
  
There's not that much left. Maybe a chapter? Heh. You know... your review would motivate me.... =P  
  
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Jakotsu smiled. "You don't even want to try and fight me, do you, darling?"  
  
Inu-Yasha suppressed a shudder. "Inu-Yasha, you stupid mutt, do something!"  
  
"I can't do anything! I'm human!"  
  
The cat girl snorted. "Sucks to be you."  
  
"You're telling me!?"  
  
Jakotsu looked bored with it all and rolled his eyes. "Well, then I suppose that means you automatically lose, ne, puppy?"  
  
"I... uh..." The hanyou stuttered, as Jakotsu jumped on him, wrapping his legs around his torso.  
  
"I win and you're my prize! I'm so happyyy!" He squealed as Inu-Yasha fell over, leaving Jakotsu straddling him again. The zombie let out another squeal when he realized that the obstacle of Inu-Yasha's shirt was out of the way.  
  
Rei sighed, defeated. She let her sword turn back into a staff. "Fine. Have him." She looked to the monk. "Ready to go back?"  
  
"But... Inu-Yasha is..."  
  
"We'll tell Kagome he's dead or something."  
  
"You're going to be the one to tell her, then."  
  
"Fine with me." She started to walk away, and Miroku reluctantly followed, mouthing something along the lines of, 'Sorry' to the half-demon.  
  
Jakotsu suddenly looked very confused and upset. "N-now wait... shouldn't you at least try to get him back safely?'  
  
"What do you think we've been doing, you git." She replied, not turning to face him.  
  
"Well, you're the only one with a working weapon and... you're just going to leave the poor defenceless puppy?"  
  
"He's got his stick."  
  
"Well, that won't help him..."  
  
"Not the stick you're thinking of, you freak!"  
  
"Oh.... he still needs your help, wench!"  
  
Rei shrugged and kept walking.  
  
The bourei sighed and looked down at the hanyou seductively. "So now what?"  
  
Review? XD Yeah... one more chapter... that's it. 


	5. Why are you still reading this?

I'm done!! This is the last chapter!!! ::Squee.:: I'm so happy!!  
  
But at the same time, so sad to see such a wonderful fan fic come to an end....  
  
only not, because it isn't that great =/  
  
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Rei stopped and looked back at Miroku, "Do you think we should.... help him?"  
  
"Well, that depends. How much do we like Inu-Yasha."  
  
"I.... don't know... How do you think we'd get him away from the drag queen?"  
  
"Well...."  
  
"But... but... He's MINE!" Jakotsu said, wrapping his arms around Inu's neck.  
  
"I don't have time for this!! You WANTED to give him back to us before?!"  
  
"Well... no... I just... umm...." He let go and looked at Inu-Yasha timidly. "Sorry..."  
  
"Grrrrr....WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU STUPID ZOMBIE!?" Rei changed her staff to a sword and began swinging at Jakotsu. Miroku grabbed her and held her back.  
  
"We don't want to kill him, we just want him off Inu-Yasha."  
  
"No. I WANT TO KILL HIM!" She began struggling. "LEMMIE GO!" She kicked Miroku in the shin and lunged at Jakotsu, barely missing his arm.  
  
"Ow...?" Jakotsu looked down at the fresh blood dripping from the cut left on his arm.  
  
She swung at him more, but was missing him, despite the fact that he wasn't moving. Jakotsu started down at Inu-Yasha, sad looking.  
  
"Do you really hate me, Inu-Yasha?"  
  
Rei aimed at his head. "DIE!!!!"  
  
He calmly ducked out of the way, awaiting Inu-Yasha's response.  
  
The neko readied herself to dive on the bourei, when Miroku jumped in and grabbed her by the torso, pulling her away again. Inu-Yasha just looked scared.  
  
"Monk!! LET ME GO!"  
  
"Well, answer me, puppy..." He took a finger and slowly slid it down Inu-Yasha's cheek, causing the hanyou to glare at him. "Do you really hate me as much as you say you do? Or could you live with me..." He paused. "Like as a friend?"  
  
Rei struggled and cursed more, while Miroku listened completely interested in what Inu might say.  
  
"Well..." The dog thought for a moment. "If you weren't... like this... all the time... Then yeah, I guess I could."  
  
Rei went completely silent and dropped her staff. She stared. Miroku simply smiled and let go of her, and she promptly fell to the ground.  
  
Jakotsu nodded, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "I see. I have to go visit Bankotsu, now." He looked longingly at the hanyou and traced circles on his chest. "I wish I could stay with you."  
  
"Does that mean I'm free now?" The drag queen nodded. Rei, who was in the middle of standing up, collapsed again.  
  
Jakotsu took a finger and brought it to the cut just made on his arm, smearing some of the blood onto his finger. "Yes... but I will be back." He smeared the blood onto his lips. "You don't have to worry, dear."  
  
Inu-Yasha stared at him confused. "Okay...?"  
  
"So don't change. Okay? Aside from being human and all... that can change. Your ears are much cuter when you're like that." He leaned down and kissed Inu on the cheek, leaving the blood there.  
  
"Did..... Jakotsu just.... give up?" Miroku whispered, helping Rei to her feet. She nodded, slowly, still looking shocked.  
  
Jakotsu stood off Inu-Yasha and began walking away, looking towards the sky.  
  
The monk and hanyou walked over to Inu-Yasha, helping him to his feet. "We should probably go let Kagome know you're alright, Inu-Yasha." Miroku said.  
  
"THAT WAS FREAKY!!" Rei yelled, and Miroku put a hand over her mouth.  
  
"He can still hear you, stupid!" His response was a muffled, 'So?'  
  
Inu-Yasha looked around. He noticed he still had one sleeve attatched to his arm. "Hey.... where's the rest of my shirt?"  
  
END!!! (Finally)  
  
Yeah... It's done!! w00t! Heh... I have something... I guess a sequel?? It's just something I wrote (actually before I started this) as an excuse to put up some Ban/Jak fluff... ; Heh. I'll get around to posting that soon, I guess. Thank you all for your reviews ; 


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